Nightmares
by WittyWallflower
Summary: Becker is tormented by memories of war and Jess comforts him. A short one-shot.


literallyraptors** asked: Prompt: Becker's faced with memories of a war and Jess tries to comfort him.**

Here you go! I am placing this in the canon timeline smack in the middle of the pre-s4 webisodes (which I've not actually seen but i was reading up on them tonight).

—

Jess click-clacked down the hall in her heels. It had gotten late while she'd been testing her workstation's uplinks. The corridors were pretty bare at this hour, and technically the facility was still on stand-by until they had an active team. But by now she was used to puttering about the place alone. Well, not totally alone.

She detoured towards the menagerie. While reading the files on the old ARC team she had read about the mammoth. Jess had finally remembered to ask Lester about it and was awed by his story of how the mammoth had saved his life. She'd just pop in and have a quick peek.

It appeared even larger that it was in the relatively confined space but Jess was still stunned by the enormity of it. She'd expected something rather like the elephants she saw at the Wellington Zoo, but this creature was double the size! Sensing her presence on the observation deck, the lumbering creature swung its trunk over to investigate. Its fearsome tusks rattled against the railing, frightening her and she skittered back as the trunk slipped through the rails. But after snuffling about her shoes for a moment the (relatively) docile creature retreated.

Reassured by its apparent disinterest in goring her, Jess drew a shaky breath, chuckling weakly at herself both for coming and for being so afraid. She had read Abby's notes as well as the team mission files and knew the creature wouldn't attack unless it felt threatened. At 5'4" in her stocking, Jess rather doubted her ability to threaten anything.

"Seems you've the good sense not to mess up my shoes, I paid a fair bit for these." She tried for a weak joke as she sat on the deck.

Propping her chin on one of the railings, her feet swung in the air above the mammoth's pen, as she watched the great beast munch contentedly on its feed. It occurred to her to wonder if anyone had named him.

—

Captain Becker sat back and scrubbed at his face. He'd been reviewing personnel files and brushing up on the new security measures in an attempt to distract himself from his thoughts. He wasn't sure it was wise to allow himself to be recalled to the ARC, but as they were obviously going to take the risks with or without him. Perhaps fewer people would be hurt with his expertise on hand.

He stretched and craned his head to each side until his neck cracked. The previous ARC facility had too many memories in it but as he rolled his stiff shoulders, Becker found himself almost missing the white sofa in the old lounge. Even if Connor had left his computer and papers all over it. It was a cozier spot for reading than the utilitarian common room of the new ARC with its metal tables and bare shelves.

Tilting his uncomfortable chair onto its back legs, Becker folded his arms over his broad chest and leaned his shoulders against the wall. A pang struck him at the thought of Connor and he closed his eyes against the pain. His team, all of them, had been gone for almost a year. Ten months since he'd lost the last of them. Since he'd failed in his primary mission, his only mission, of keeping them safe. His exhausted mind taunted him, asking how useful his so-called expertise really was, when it had _ever_ kept anyone alive. With a tired sigh, Becker grappled once more with the inner demons he faced every day. It never got easier to hold them at bay.

—-

Jess giggled as at the mammoth trumpeted again, its trunk wrapping around a sheaf of grass and tossing it aloft. Jess gained her feet and brushed the grass from her dress as the blades rained down.

"I take it you like that name, then?" She didn't feel the least bit awkward talking to the creature now, though she imagined she probably looked pretty silly. "I've gotta go, I'm dying for a bit of chocolate. I promise I'll come visit again. Good night, Hilary!"

She was still smiling to herself as she entered the canteen but she clattered to a halt when she realized she wasn't alone. A blush spread over her cheeks as she identified Becker at a far table, his back to the wall and the whole room visible. These military types never dropped their guard for a second. Before she had a chance to open her mouth and make a fool of herself, she noticed his lowered lashes. Ha. Sleeping sitting up. Somehow she wasn't surprised.

Her sweet tooth forgotten she leaned against the door frame, observing him for a moment. He really was very _fit_, she mused. And _tall_. And such nice, crisp dark hair falling over his forehead. Tall, Dark, and Handsome personified, she thought.

Abruptly Jess forced herself to shake off those thoughts. Her cheeks warmed again; she'd basically been ogling him in his sleep! She couldn't get to her snack without waking him, which she was loathe to do. He had been tense since he'd walked into the facility. Quietly, she backed away.

—

Becker felt eyes upon them and halted his team. Flattening his hand, palm down, he signaled them all into a crouch. The unit of eight Special Ops commandos waited and listened in tense stillness. Each gave the sign for All Clear, but still Becker held them hiding in the semi-darkness.

His second in command shifted closer and Becker's ears picked up the low murmur, nearly indistinguishable from the sound of the wind.

"Permission to proceed?"

"Denied. Something's off. Take Kearney and see if the other route is clear. I'm taking us to plan beta."

Becker sensed rather than saw the other man's acknowledgment before he moved away. Before the two men slid out of sight in the gathering gloom, a flicker of movement caught Becker's eye. A tiny flicker of light jittered over Kearney's back.

Laser scope.

As Becker tried to yell a warning, the room exploded with gunfire.

—

The best Jess has been able to find was a shock blanket from the infirmary. Still it was better than sleeping with nothing and she was sure even a big, strong man like Becker appreciated a blanket at night. She gently shook out the folds as she tiptoed up to him, irrationally a bit pleased to note he didn't snore, and began to cover the sleeping man.

Becker came awake with an incoherent shout and an explosion of movement. The forelegs of his chair slammed to the floor and his hands seized the blanket Jess held over him. Too startled to react, she stood frozen before him as her heart raced. Furiously blinking sleep from his eyes, Becker identified her, noticed the color rapidly rushing to her cheeks.

"Jess? What is it? Whats happened?" His voice was a bit hoarse and edged with panic as he tried to get his bearings.

"Nothing," she gaped at him. "Nothing, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I just thought you'd be more comfortable…" His brow furrowed in confusion but Becker released his hold on the blanket, and his tension. Embarrassed by her position hovering over him, far too close for comfort now that he sat upright, Jess backed away. "You must have been having a bad dream."

"Yeah," Avoiding her eyes, he turned aside and propped his elbows on knees before burying his face in his hands. It always took a moment after a nightmare like that for the real world to sink back in and the memories of war to fade away. "Yeah, must be."

Jess gazed at his bowed head, thinking of the files she had read about the team he had worked closely with and risked his life for, only to be the one left behind. His military files were classified but she knew Becker had been decorated enough times to have seen things she couldn't begin to imagine. She had to fight the urge to run her fingers through his dark hair, to pull his head to her chest and give him whatever comfort she could.

"If it helps to talk…" she offered awkwardly instead.

At first he didn't respond, then a hand reached out to hers where it lay on the table. A brief squeeze, then his voice rumbled low.

"Its fine, Jess."

She could sense it wasn't. But everything she had learned about him painted the picture of a proud and stubborn man, he probably didn't appreciate being caught while vulnerable. She didn't know him well enough to press it, to pry him open. Perhaps someday she would.

"How about some cocoa?" He sat up again as she hopped off the table. His face was impassive once more, she couldn't read him. "I've got a secret stash of chocolate nobody knows about. Highly classified. But something tells me you can keep that sensitive information under wraps."

With that quip Jess gave him a pat on the shoulder that she told herself was strictly a friendly gesture of comfort. But her palm tingled warmly as she bustled off to fix their drinks. Becker's eyed, bloodshot but a bit curious about this bubbly young woman, watched her go.


End file.
